Monday
So, this morning I did my weekly shopping trip, huge sigh, I spend so much money keeping my kids' stomachs full! The nerve of them, wanting to eat.
Then I spent the rest of the morning recovering from the weekend, cleaning wise.
Then I heard from Keryn. Thank you so much for the feedback.
Here are a few of her suggestions that I am implementing, just so that we don't all repeat ourselves...
1- Mya should have known her name at the age of three, so I need to mention something about the trauma of the accident or something.
2- The fact that Mya loses time needs to be addressed. Just so you know, that's something I put in as prep for the second book, but Keryn said it feels like something I forgot about. So, here I'm going to combine her suggestion with Caren's excellent suggestion about the doctors and will put in a bit about the doctors deciding that it's all in her head and suggestion she see a therapist.
3- I need to change Marcus' main talent. The teacher thing is really not working.
4- Mya needs to be actually kidnapped by Eric and Kevin. There is no way she would willing go with them after being scared to death in the woods.
5- Mya needs to be actively looking for a phone or a way out as she explores the house by the river. She needs to be looking to escape.
6- I need to bring out more of a difference in the way they treat Mya after they realize what her talent is. Before that, they are more just looking in on her for her parents sakes, after they smother her because they know her talent could be important.
7- Mya needs to be more scared after she finds the Ciarda and is waiting for Weston.
8- Gina needs to make Mya more comfortable when they meet at the house in Washington so she thinks a bit more about what is happening and isn't so scared.
9- Mya needs to actually take Marcus to task for what happened in Washington. Sorry, I hadn't realized that she hadn't done that yet!
That's the feedback from Keryn, at least that's what my notes say anyway... Keryn, if I've forgotten anything, remind me. If these sound like things you were going to suggest to me, please look for anything else.
Oh, and she also told me that I desperately need someone to help me with the grammar and spelling... Caren, want a job?
Love ya all!
Also, a quick funny story from one of the ladies in my ward.
One of the preschool classes that my ward's put together for those not lucky enough to get it for free at the school went to the fire station on a field trip. The kids listened in awe as the fireman explained all of the different equipment. When he got to the axe, he explained that they use it to open the garage doors of the houses so they can get in.
One of the little girls looked at him, "We have a button we push to do that at my house!"
Ah, the minds of four and five year olds.
Telima, did you get your car back?
Caren, congratulations on the new speech therapist. I hope she works out.
Then I spent the rest of the morning recovering from the weekend, cleaning wise.
Then I heard from Keryn. Thank you so much for the feedback.
Here are a few of her suggestions that I am implementing, just so that we don't all repeat ourselves...
1- Mya should have known her name at the age of three, so I need to mention something about the trauma of the accident or something.
2- The fact that Mya loses time needs to be addressed. Just so you know, that's something I put in as prep for the second book, but Keryn said it feels like something I forgot about. So, here I'm going to combine her suggestion with Caren's excellent suggestion about the doctors and will put in a bit about the doctors deciding that it's all in her head and suggestion she see a therapist.
3- I need to change Marcus' main talent. The teacher thing is really not working.
4- Mya needs to be actually kidnapped by Eric and Kevin. There is no way she would willing go with them after being scared to death in the woods.
5- Mya needs to be actively looking for a phone or a way out as she explores the house by the river. She needs to be looking to escape.
6- I need to bring out more of a difference in the way they treat Mya after they realize what her talent is. Before that, they are more just looking in on her for her parents sakes, after they smother her because they know her talent could be important.
7- Mya needs to be more scared after she finds the Ciarda and is waiting for Weston.
8- Gina needs to make Mya more comfortable when they meet at the house in Washington so she thinks a bit more about what is happening and isn't so scared.
9- Mya needs to actually take Marcus to task for what happened in Washington. Sorry, I hadn't realized that she hadn't done that yet!
That's the feedback from Keryn, at least that's what my notes say anyway... Keryn, if I've forgotten anything, remind me. If these sound like things you were going to suggest to me, please look for anything else.
Oh, and she also told me that I desperately need someone to help me with the grammar and spelling... Caren, want a job?
Love ya all!
Also, a quick funny story from one of the ladies in my ward.
One of the preschool classes that my ward's put together for those not lucky enough to get it for free at the school went to the fire station on a field trip. The kids listened in awe as the fireman explained all of the different equipment. When he got to the axe, he explained that they use it to open the garage doors of the houses so they can get in.
One of the little girls looked at him, "We have a button we push to do that at my house!"
Ah, the minds of four and five year olds.
Telima, did you get your car back?
Caren, congratulations on the new speech therapist. I hope she works out.
posted by Jenafer @ 5:16 PM
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