# Chateau de la Tobler

## Sunday, May 31, 2009

### Dearest Jenafer

First of all, you have my deepest sympathies. How incredibly frustrating to get your hopes up only to be dropped. I'm so so sorry and frustrated for you!! (And I'm glad you can rant on our blog. After all, what is family for but to be able to rant?)
But my feeling sympathetic doesn't really help, does it? So here are some ideas for you, working in the context that you aren't (1) going to call the Bishop and demand to be released from all callings and (2) going to go inactive.
In our ward, visiting teaching supervisor is a pretty easy job. We have some sisters who do their job by phone (most of these ladies are shut-ins, so it's pretty much the only calling they can have), by mail (we have a member of our ward in federal prison in California, and one VT supervisor just writes her a letter every couple of weeks), or by email (which is the only way to get a hold of some of our newlywed/college student sisters). However, when I was in college, we trained our VT supervisors to actually be a fill-in companion for the sisters in their district. If your companion couldn't/wouldn't do visits with you, your VT supervisor would be your companion. (That's a lot of work, I realize, but part of your complaint is that they aren't working you enough, right?)
(Of course, I would suggest that you talk to the VT coordinator before you start anything like this, just to make sure it isn't horribly wrong or something.)
As for your other calling...(you are completely free to ignore this advice especially, but I thought I'd put it out there)...embrace it. Totally and completely embrace it. Learn progressively harder pieces on the organ. Tell the ward music director that you are working on an organ piece that you would like to perform during sacrament meeting in July (or August). Have a definitive goal. (If the ward music director doesn't schedule you right away, make it a goal in Faith in God (the primary award that parents and teachers are encouraged to do alongside their 8-12 kids) and tell her that. Find the red in you (you have it, I know you do, I was your roommate for 16 years) and be aggressive. Don't take "no" for an answer.)
Again, I know what I'm suggesting is time-consuming, and it is hard to find time with five kids underfoot (more when you have the other little girls). Especially when you don't have to do it for your calling. But, Jen, for your self-esteem and sanity, I think you would need to treat it like these tasks were necessary, and just work around them like you would if you were camp director or something.
I love you, Jen, and I won't feel bad if you totally disregard the advice I've given. I know I don't completely understand your situation. Good luck, sweetie.
(P.S. Your friend with the little daughter who had surgery? Is she okay? Do they know what the mass in her lungs was?)

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