# Chateau de la Tobler

## Tuesday, January 19, 2010

### Neighborhood children

The situation:
Ezra and Mercy have some friends that live five houses away, and they come over all the time to play. My kids will go over to their house, sometimes, too, but I'd say that 70% of the time is spent playing in our house or outside of our house. This is okay, in principle, because I would rather have my kids here with their friends than elsewhere. In practice, it sometimes creates problems.
These little friends are good kids, so I don't have a problem with their influence. And goodness knows my children make big enough messes on their own, so the joint mess isn't a problem, either.
But what am I to think when Justin (he's the same age as Ezra) tells me that they can't play at his house today because his mom is taking a nap? This happens probably 4 times out of 5. Once he even told me that his mom told him to go play at Ezra's house and not to come home for at least an hour.
The child is six, so I have to take everything he says with a grain of salt. Maybe Mom told him that he couldn't play on the Wii (or something) for the next hour, so he might as well go play with Ezra. Or maybe she told him ONCE that she was going to take a nap, so please don't bring Ezra and Mercy back with him.
But sometimes I feel like I'm providing free babysitting, and it bothers me a little. When they are all playing outside, I feel much less "burdened", but when they are in house, it gets crazy and I have to mediate and soothe and intervene and remind. It's not relaxing. I sure don't want to punish my children or her children by sending them home all the time. But I won't lie, when Justin tells me his mom is napping, sometimes I feel like just sending them home. Isn't that terrible?
(Less annoying is the fact that they ALWAYS want something to eat while they are here. I've decided to deal with that by simply saying "no", unless it's snack time for my kids, too. Then we'll break out the graham crackers or whatever. They also really love the ice and water dispenser, which is occasionally trouble because nobody remembers whose cup is whose.)
Okay, while I've been venting here, Justin and Alyssa asked for something to eat. I said, "No, sorry, it's almost dinner." Justin then went into the kitchen and stared at the crackers while telling Ezra "he just couldn't help it, he was so hungry". At which point, I said, "Then I guess it is time to go home, if you are that hungry." So they gathered their coats and toys and went home.
Now Ezra is mad at me, because he didn't want them to go home yet.

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